Greenleaf – Season 5, Episode 3: “The Third Day”

We’re now on the third episode of the FINAL season of Greenleaf and already SO MUCH has happened. If you haven’t watched the episode and you don’t want the bombshells to be spoiled for you, then stop listening right now. 

The episode starts with Grace and Darius. Darius has just come back from Las Vegas pursuing a lead on Bob from H&H. As it turns out, this was not in fact a “free” trip to Vegas (as Grace described it). He had to pay for his own ticket because he got fired for working on the story – I assume his firing came at Bob’s insistence. That grimy bastard! Darius ain’t doing nothing but trying to expose the truth, but as they say… no good deed goes unpunished. Lucky Grace got to kiss Darius’s fine self in this scene, too. I’m a little bit jealous lol.

Lady Mae and Bishop are moving forward with their plans to start a new church, but they’re having difficulty selecting a name. It’s also concerning that Bishop is still having problems with his memory, and his memory isn’t failing due to brown liquor at bedtime (as Lady Mae suggests)… this issue is medical and it’s serious. Like, you can forget a few things here and there, but he’s forgetting major chunks of conversations that have occurred. Are these early signs of dementia? We may soon know because Lady Mae insists that he see a doctor about this issue, so a diagnosis is on the way.

Meanwhile, Jacob and Tasha Skanks are on a quest to figure out what Basie’s father has to do with Greenleaf Manor. When Jacob goes to pick up Tasha from her apartment, she comes out dressed like she’s going to a 35 and over club… tight black clothes with lots of gold accents, sky-high heels, and that thin blonde hair teased into an updo. She really needs to do a protein treatment or something because that box blonde color isn’t doing her hair any favors. Anyhoo, they go to visit Basie’s sister Tara (not to be confused with Rochelle who was played by one of the former members of Destiny’s Child and let’s not forget that Rochelle had a fling with Bishop) to get some of their questions answered. Jacob explained that he and Tasha think that Bishop killed Darryl James (who is Basie, Tara, and Rochelle’s father) and Tara says with a completely straight face “Yeah, that’s accurate.” Okay, sooo… you’ve known all this time that this man killed your daddy and you didn’t wanna do anything about it? She said that she always believed that someone from the Greenleaf family would come along and make things right. Mmm hmm, okay, girl. You sound crazy lol. 

Now if you recall, Darryl James ended up in the church that burned down because he received a phone call telling him to come to the church, so he was set up. Basie believed it was Bishop who called his father on the phone that night. But how would Basie know for sure? It could’ve been Mac. Or even Lady Mae! But Basie is dead, so we can’t ask him why he thought what he thought. Oh well. Jacob asked Tara about the relationship between Darryl and Loretta Davis and Tara took that as an opportunity to show her guests the door. Then she called someone to let them know Jacob had come by. Who was she calling? I assumed it was Rochelle, but maybe it was someone else… like Basie? Tasha said his body was found in a motel, so I guess he’s really dead, but in these kinds of shows, anything can happen, lol.

Zora and Sophia are in Zora’s cute little she-shed and Zora has helped Sophia get her titty pics off of Al Gore’s Internet. Just then, Nikki walks in and she and Sophia start to bickering. It didn’t take long for the shade to turn to rage when Nikki says something about how she can at least have babies and Sophia, who we know is infertile, took that as an opportunity to attack. And who could blame her?! That was the lowest of all blows! A woman should NEVER clown another woman for being infertile. Those are definitely fighting words, so I didn’t blame Sophia for taking some swings… I just wish the girl could fight cause lawd… her hand-to-hand combat skills are seriously lacking and Nikki was definitely about to stomp her out. But thankfully Zora stepped in and told Nikki to leave before her cousin became a spot under Nikki’s shoe. Nikki begrudgingly does as she’s told, but not before reminding Zora that Sophia had been an ass to her several times, so she wants to know why she has to leave and not Sophia? Good point, but Zora made it known it was family over everything and sent Nikki packing. After Nikki left, Zora promised Sophia that she isn’t the one who told Nikki about Sophia’s inability to have children and Zora also encouraged Sophia to get some anger management because her rage is not healthy. 

And over at the big house, Lady Mae was busy reminding Grace of how handsome Noah is. She was downright giddy about him, even suggesting that Noah could move into Zora’s she-shed once she headed off to college. Grace explained that AJ was not interested in seeing her or Noah. Lady Mae in her very blunt way said “it is foolish to ignore the fact that one of you gave him away and the other didn’t even know he existed.” Chiiiile… Lady Mae stays reading the hell outta her children! Who needs enemies when you have a mama who takes every opportunity to tell you about yourself? Ha! She goes on to explain herself when she sees that Grace is taken aback, saying that Grace and Noah need to take a team approach to reaching AJ. And later, Bishop explains to Grace that he thinks that Lady Mae is as bitter as she is due to her residual guilt about the disagreements she and the Bishop had about the dearly-departed Faith, which ultimately resulted in Faith’s demise, so he thinks Lady Mae is just trying to keep Grace and Noah from making the same mistakes. Okay, but could Lady Mae be a little less savage about it? Sheesh.

Charity and Judee end up facing off after Judee thought it was a good idea to flash her funky little engagement ring in Charity’s face. As Charity told her mother earlier in the episode, she has a plan that will make being on the receiving end of Judee and Phil’s abuse worthwhile. I can’t see what the plan is, but I know that for some reason that remains to be seen Charity has committed herself to sticking around the church no matter what Phil and Judee shoot her way. And Phil had the nerve to ask if he’d be able to talk to Charity again the way they used to talk. If men have nothing else, they have THE AUDACITY, don’t they?!

Karine, who is Bishop’s assistant, and who I love (she doesn’t get enough screen time), threw her hat in the ring to be music minister of music at Lady Mae and Bishop’s new church and they seemed to be on board with her as their choice. Shortly thereafter, though, Lady Mae flip flopped from hell on wheels back to being a loving mother as she tried to make peace with Charity. She brought Charity her old hymnal inside where little Charity had written “Rev. Charity Greenleaf”. It turns out that although Miss Charity can sing her ass off, singing was never her dream. She believes she was called to preach. So, Lady Mae tells her the offer to be Associate Pastor at their new church still stands. She was sweet and kind and tender and loving in this moment. So much so, that she coaxed the perfect name for their church out of Charity, Eternal Faith Fellowship. Cute name. Good job, Charity! But we already know this sweeter kinder gentler Lady Mae will not last, so don’t get caught slippin!

Jacob dropped off Tasha and it must’ve been throwback Thursday because they started reminiscing back to when they were booed up and shared a kiss. Tasha asked if he really liked her back then or if she had just been a plaything and he said not only did he like her back then, he still likes her. Oh okay! But, as she leaned in for another kiss he told her to pump her breaks because he isn’t open to pursuing anything until his divorce is final. This time he wants to do things the “right” way. Also, Jacob tells Kerissa he wants joint custody of their kids after all. Kerissa’s trifling self tries to intimidate him by threatening to throw Bishop in jail, but it doesn’t work this time. Jacob is unphased, saying he either belongs there or he doesn’t, so basically do what you gotta do, boo. Jacob decides to go talk to his father who is working out and looking quite spry physically for an old man. But he also says that he didn’t know anything about Greenleaf Manor being left to Darryl James and he also denied that he was the one who called Darryl the night he died. So… idk. We know he’s kinda senile now, so he may have just forgotten these details, lol.

AJ, who had said he didn’t want to see either of his parents, called Sophia and asked her to come see him. He said that he basically wanted to say goodbye to her before he bounced out of their lives for good. Sophia said she wasn’t happy with his choice to leave, but she would let him go if he would just tell her why he’s been acting so weird this whole time and why he tried to take himself out. When he finally does agree to see Grace, he drops a bomb on her. He tells her that when he was in prison, he was raped, and that one of the “bitches” who did it to him gave him HIV. Yikes. I have to admit that was the furthest thing from my mind. I’m not sure why AJ thinks that this situation makes him unloveable or why he thinks he doesn’t deserve to have a family. I thought maybe the secret was that he killed someone or that he wasn’t actually Grace’s son or something. But the secret of him being HIV positive does actually make sense now that I think about the questions the doctor was asking Grace after she had been in contact with the razor that AJ used to cut his wrists. And honestly, it’s kind of irresponsible for him to choose that suicide method, knowing that he could possibly infect others who arrived on the scene. But I’m sure that was not on his mind when he made the decision to take his own life. I wonder how Grace is going to respond to this news. It’s a shocker for sure.

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