All these chicks are nuts… Real Housewives of Potomac (RHOP) – Season 5

Whew chiiiile! Real Housewives of Potomac is several episodes into season five and it is getting spicy! Honestly, I’m proud that a “local” show (I’m located in the D.C. metropolitan area) has made it this far (I’m still recovering from the Real Housewives of D.C.’s brief and tragically boring stint in Bravo’s most lucrative and beloved Real Housewives franchise) on the small screen. The girls are showing they can hold their own against the other OG Real Housewives shows based in other major cities. The drama in Potomac has always been relatively tame in comparison, but this season they’re stepping it up, culminating in a physical altercation between two cast members in last week’s episode that led to real life lawsuits in the Maryland courts. I’d been meaning to recap this season episode by episode, and was finally drive to put fingers to keys after watching last night’s episode and Monique Samuels’s appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen (which I normally skip). There’s a lot to unpack with these ladies this season. Here are (some of) my thoughts:

1. I want to start off by saying I will forever be #TeamMonique and I really don’t care what anyone has to say about that. I maintain that Monique was wrong for blacking out on Candiace because I really don’t believe in using physical violence to resolve a situation… Monique has been on 10 lately and I think it might be that she is overwhelmed by the many things on her plate AND she’s recovering from the embarrassment of the rumors about her alleged infidelity. I’m no clinician, but she may even be suffering from postpartum depression, which nobody acknowledged. She definitely needs some therapy as well as anger management, but let’s be real… she’s not the only one on the cast who could benefit from some mental health interventions. All that said, even though I don’t like the idea of grown women fighting, after watching last night’s episode, I’ve decided that I’m glad that Monique dragged Candiace’s lil tail. Candiace is annoying af and has been asking to catch it from SOMEBODY since she joined the show. As Ashley said last night, Candiace did all that talking and she made the mistake of poking the wrong bear… play stupid games and win stupid prizes. A lot of people are learning that lesson this week. 🥴

Candiace: What are you gonna do? Drag me? You gonna drag me, Monique?

Monique: Well, yes, actually. Yes, I am. *proceeds to drag her by the wig*

2. Candiace wants to make herself out to be the victim in this situation (as she always does!), but she has been consistently messy and has a nasty attitude. And… AND… she claims no responsibility in their altercation. How, Sway?! She doesn’t see how all that taunting led them to get physical? And she doesn’t remember that she reached for Monique and made contact with her too just before getting her wig snatched* (literally! 🤣)? I feel like this is a common theme with Candiace… she starts something with someone, pushes ALL their buttons, and then when she finds them to be a formidable opponent, she cries victim and feigns innocence. This started with her mom. Her mother is batshit crazy, but Candiace also contributes to the issues in their relationship as well, but is the poor persecuted daughter when anyone engages her on the topic. Girl, please. Her suburban upbringing and pageant training did her NO FAVORS when she encountered a real one like Monique. Candiace went to Howard… I’d think she would’ve been better trained to receive that arse whipping. Meh. I know one thing — I bet she’ll watch what she says to folks from now on. Tough lesson to learn, but one that she desperately needed.

3. Gizelle Bryant needs to have all the seats in FedEx Field! Last night she was out of order for several reasons. Let’s recap the many ways Gizelle got me effed up:

a) She wanted to point out to Monique all the times she’s been “threatening” on the show, but she failed to mention that Candiace threatened Ashley with a knife (!) in a previous episode! Why is she scared of Monique, but not of Candiace (I know why… because Monique is an actual threat, while Candiace is all talk… that’s why)?

b) She had the nerve to say that she and Jamal Bryant – the man that her own daddy confirmed had 6 to 7 side babies on her during their marriage – have “an image to uphold”… ma’am! What a joke! Uphold deez.  🥜🥜🙄 

c) Gizelle told Monique that she was feeding into negative stereotypes about Black women and that she isn’t setting a good example for her daughter… but is SHE setting a good example for her daughters when she gets on the show and acts nasty to EVERY.ONE.?? Has she gotten physical? No (not yet!)… but that’s only due to the grace of God cause I know several of the women have wanted to drag her many times before.

d) Gizelle told Monique that her three daughters told her to stay away from Monique. Ohhhh, okay… so Gizelle can listen to her daughters when it comes to Monique, but not when they told her to stay away from their own no-good daddy?? Oh. I don’t know about you, but when a mother’s kids warn her to stay away from their own biological daddy… well, that would send up some red flags for me. Just sayin… 

e) Gizelle is messy af. Just this season (and we’re not even halfway through it!), she has spilled the tea about the rumors related to Monique’s family, adding fuel to the fire that’s raging between Monique and Charisse Jordan, and she tried to start mess between Wendy and Karen while they were at Monique’s lake house, telling Wendy that instead of being nasty to Ashley she should really be mad at Karen because of something Karen had said to her in private. AND, she was aggressive with Candiace at Karen’s housewarming. But Monique is the problem. Oh okay.

4. Robyn and Gizelle together are insufferable. First of all, they were both being messy with Candiace and Monique and trying to instigate something between them, but then both acted surprised when the violence popped off. Then they both had the nerve to tell Monique that she was being condescending to them during the conversation last night when at the very same time they sat there rolling their eyes and closing their ears to everything Monique was saying. If THAT little lecture wasn’t two pots calling the kettle black. And Robyn made up her mind that Monique leaked the story about the fight at the winery with zero proof or evidence and because she said it, it was so. No, ma’am. Your argument doesn’t work without receipts. And even if she did tell the blogs, it was HER business and HER altercation. She’s grown and she’s welcome to tell anyone anything she wants about her business unless it violates one of her contractual obligations to Bravo.

5. “DOCTOR Wendy” annoys. Her wigs are terrible, her clothes look a mess… and she has a speech impediment that grinds my gears. She came onto the show being stank as ever toward ALL the other women from Moment One and then had the nerve to sit there on her high horse preaching at Monique about reinforcing negative stereotypes about Black women in the media. But what about when she came for Ashley’s throat at Monique’s lake house and then said she wasn’t sorry or remorseful about it and wouldn’t apologize until days later? Now all of a sudden tonight she can’t understand where Monique is coming from? Oh, how quickly we forget when it’s convenient for us. Sis needs to busy herself with combing her weave and commentate on a subject that doesn’t leave her looking like a total hypocrite. Someone please take her cherry blossom/glass of Prosecco and replace her, stat.

6. Karen was a true friend to Monique last night. I have talked a lot of trash about her because she’s insane and a bit delusional, but I have to commend her on the way she stuck up for Monique when Wendy, Gizelle, and Robyn tried to gang up on her. And honestly… thank God for Ashley. Ashley has been a victim of every woman on that show and yet she has continued to show kindness to each of them when they really need it. They don’t deserve her — she’s too good for them. Speaking of people who don’t deserve her, neither does Michael. I really want her to level up after she drops this next baby. She needs to close the book on that chapter of her life and start a new storyline.

Lordt. So much to say about these ladies, but I’ll stop there. I really do wish they represented the D.C. area (I hate calling it the “DMV”) a little better. If you didn’t know better you’d think all women in D.C./MD/VA were stuck up and bitter with poor taste in clothes and no access to quality haircare. Gross. But I won’t stop watching. *shrug*

What do y’all think? 

* P.S. Remember “the wig tug heard around the world” when Sheree tugged Kim’s wig back in Atlanta? Who knew another wig tug was in the cards for the Housewives and would lead to even more drama?!

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